Redemption
by midnight-blue
Summary: Jack in a bar musing about love and life


Title: Redemption Author: Kristin E-mail: autumn_rain86@hotmail.com Feedback: It inspires! Disclaimer: Characters don't belong to me, I swear! Summary: Jack in a bar musing about love and life  
  
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Maybe it was the dim light enveloping the room, the old blues song playing on the jukebox, or the buzz from the shot of scotch he was nurturing.  
  
And maybe all of those elements combined to lead him in a direction he'd avoided since he was a naive college kid and Marie was the first real love of his life.  
  
The glass was warm and the liquid burned as it slid down his throat.  
  
He vaguely heard the door open and a gust of wind hit his back.  
  
His vision was blurry, his head swimming with a thousand thoughts and a thousand memories, a thousand regrets. He wasn't sure of a damn thing, not one damn thing except for some reason Samantha Spade was suddenly standing in front of him.  
  
He tried remembering where she had been just a few hours before; she had been with him: that old flame that ignited a jealousy within Jack he hadn't thought himself capable of.  
  
Her dress was rumpled, her hair loose, and her face tired from sins and mistakes and smiles she'd faked all evening. She had that usual smell of hairspray and deodorant and her eyes reminded him of a candle that had been burning for hours and hours until finally, long-forgotten, it flickered into a silent oblivion.  
  
"I'm lonely tonight, Jack."  
  
He trailed a finger around his glass, glancing sideways at her as she sipped an amaretto.  
  
The liquid slid roughly down her throat, and she closed her eyes against the memories; too many memories for a night like this.  
  
"I'm lonely every night."  
  
It came out as more of a grunt and he hadn't meant to say it, but the alcohol freed him from his silent prison for just a brief moment.  
  
Maybe this night was different from the others. Maybe this night it could be just him; just him and this girl who smiled at him like he was special; this girl who left post-its in his desk drawer reminding him to eat lunch.  
  
She crunched on some peanuts, idly stirring the ice cubes as they faded into the amber liquid taunting her as she sat in a place most lost souls drifted to when their flames too had flickered out and redemption wasn't just a simple prayer away.  
  
Jack clutched a gold chain between his fingers; his crucifix. She hadn't seen it since their case last year when a small child had been kidnapped. Just a random case, like so many others; but one that seemed to affect Jack more than usual.  
  
"What's wrong, Jack?"  
  
She wondered for a moment if the rest of their evening would be spent faking a conversation, lying to each other in the silence that separated them, whispering riddles to their hearts and telling their fears to a drink that had stopped tasting good three months ago.  
  
His eyes closed for a moment and his hand tightened around the chain.  
  
"Maybe God only listens to those worth saving, Sam."  
  
Then he dropped the chain and it sparkled in the dim lighting.  
  
For a moment, she flashed back to a memory; praying in a church to a God she had never questioned existed.  
  
Maybe Jack was right, because ten years ago she had felt at home in a church; she had said a Hail Mary when she sinned and somehow everything was all right.  
  
Now, though, she had drifted in and out of days and months and years; she had seen good and evil, those with faith and those who raised their fists in anger to a sky that was nothing more than just clouds and stars and a dark abyss that stretched for miles.  
  
If Jack was right, then God had stopped listening to her a long time ago.  
  
She wanted to believe though, that everyone still had a chance. She wanted to believe most of all that the hollow figure in front of her was worth waiting for.  
  
"Maybe, Jack."  
  
His hand trailed along the faded gold chain and he downed the last bit of liquid before standing unsteadily on his heavy feet.  
  
Sam reached out and smooth the rought edges of the chain, then held the crucifix between her fingers, allowing herself to dwell on a God she'd stopped believing in a lifetime ago.  
  
"But we don't have to be alone tonight."  
  
His breath tickled the loose hair that had settled on her neck and his rough hand reached for her smooth one.  
  
It was a simple gesture, a simple moment; but she allowed herself to believe that tonight, her memories wouldn't haunt her; tonight she could stare into the dark without her demons lurking at the edge of her mind.  
  
Tonight, above all others, was her one last chance at something good and decent; one last chance to feel what it was really like to have one great love.  
  
Jack ran his fingers through Sam's hair and thought of Marie. She had been his great love, but Sam...well, her smile was enough for now.  
  
------- END  
  
...it stinks, I know. It's okay, really. I'll do better next time, promise I will. 


End file.
